Relationships with grandparents can be wonderful, but they can also be complicated so it’s important to be prepared, set boundaries and know what to expect.

You are a new mama. You have so much on your plate. Pleasing everyone else is not your job. Not everybody has a great relationship with their parents. There are also many families who are separated by great distance or who only carry their love for their parents in their heart.

If you are blessed with parents close by who you want to be involved in your bub’s life, there are many ways you can help include them. Sometimes it can be a lot to juggle-particularly if your parents and/or your partner’s parents have separated and repartnered. You could be dealing with up to four sets of excited grandparents!

During pregnancy, it can be as simple as:

• Sharing ultrasound pictures.
• Keeping them updated on baby’s growth and development.
• Including them in your birth plan, e.g. looking after pets/older kids.

One lovely way you can include them is by asking them to create something special for bub-perhaps a knitted blanket (if they knit), a special piece of art for the nursery, or a hand-written letter to tuck away for them to read when they are older.

Following birth:

• Have them visit when you’re ready (be sure to set boundaries and expectations around this as soon as possible even while pregnant-as it can avoid tensions and conflict if everyone understands your needs)
• Have them watch baby so you can have a break/nap/shower/date night, whatever and whenever you are comfortable with this.
• Keep them updated on any exciting milestones and photos-this will absolutely make their day.
• As baby grows, create special memories by inviting grandparents on activities and adventures together.

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