If you have a new born (or are soon to welcome one) then you should know that feeding your baby to sleep, having contact naps or cuddling them is all wonderful, natural and perfect. This is what babies need when they are going through the womb to world transition in those first few months.

With the slightly older babies (12 weeks+) they can become reliant on certain things to sleep. This is what is called sleep associations. These associations develop as the little ones gain the ability to form habits. Associations can be parent controlled-meaning you have to do something (for example put the dummy back in for them, or feed them, rock them/rub their neck), or they can be baby controlled (for example, when baby can put their own dummy in, or the snug feeling of being swaddled or in a dark room-things that will comfort them without parental effort if they wake in the night).

Your baby may even develop little associations on their own like sucking their hand or clicking their tongue. These are also baby controlled.

As baby grows, you may find feeding to sleep or rocking until baby falls asleep in your arms before transferring them to bed…is no longer working for your family. It’s hard when only one parent has the ability to put the baby to sleep.

In these situations, it can be helpful to introduce baby-controlled associations. Still feed your baby before sleep and in the night if they need it-and have all those cuddles. But stop the feed before they go to sleep, and have the other associations be the things that help them drift off.

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